![]() Sign up for a Journey Through Grief & Mourning: Whether you have lost a loved one recently or just want to learn the basics of Jewish mourning rituals, this 8-part email series will guide you through everything you need to know and help you feel supported and comforted at a difficult time. It is customary, before entering the home, to pour water over one’s hands (376:4), a practice reminiscent of Temple times when ritual cleanness and uncleanness was a significant factor in Jewish life and water functioned as a cleansing agent for corpse-induced defilement.Įxcerpted with permission from “Death and Mourning: A Time for Weeping, A Time for Healing,” in Celebration and Renewal: Rites of Passage in Judaism, edited by Rela Mintz Geffen ( Jewish Publication Society). The family then returns to the place where it will sit shiva, usually the home of the deceased. Looking for a way to say Mourner’s Kaddish in a minyan? My Jewish Learning’s daily online minyan gives mourners and others an opportunity to say Kaddish in community and learn from leading rabbis.Friends form two parallel lines through which the mourners pass and receive condolences as they walk from the gravesite back to the hearse. Reprinted with permission from Saying Kaddish: How to Comfort the Dying, Bury the Dead, & Mourn as a Jew ( Schocken Books). In this way, Kaddish expresses the essence of Judaism. In words and through practice, Kaddish insists that the mourner turn away from death and choose life. Although these words have been studied and analyzed for centuries, every mourner finds new meaning in them, year by year, and line by line.īut the bottom line is startlingly clear. Through study and thought, reading and discussion, Kaddish demands that the mourner engage, connect and forge a personal connection to it. Kaddish requires that the mourner wrestle with the text. It even speaks - in its silence - about the predominant Jewish view of the afterlife.īut the language of the prayer is not transparent. Kaddish addresses the meaning of life and death, immortality and redemption, the purpose and efficacy of prayer, community, and the ultimate goal of peace. ![]() The meaning only comes clear when given communal voice.Įven so, the words are not insignificant. The text is secondary to the emotional experience of its recitation. The truth is that the sounds of the words are more important than their definitions. The mystery of Kaddish is revealed every time it is spoken aloud with others. ![]() This is not as mechanical as it sounds, because it is simply impossible to understand the impact or value of saying Kaddish without first doing it. Which is why Kaddish is always transliterated, so that everyone can participate, regardless of whether they can read the Hebrew letters or know what they are saying. It is enough that the mourner just “do the mitzvah” of saying the prayer with nine other Jews. But halacha, or Jewish law, does not require belief in the words - or even understanding. Judaism has always been far less concerned with belief than with action or mitzvah, which means “commandment” or “sacred obligation.” The tradition mandates saying Kaddish, with clear directions about how, where, and when it should be said. Atheists say Kaddish.Īs inconsistent as it may seem, this does not offend Jewish religious sensibilities. Jewish mourners begin saying Kaddish at the funerals of their loved ones, and continue reciting it for the rest of their lives. And yet, for centuries Jewish tradition has placed this prayer in the mouths of people who have no taste for praise. After all, this is the same God who ordained or permitted the death of a loved one. “Blessed, praised and honored, extolled and glorified, adored and exalted.” “ Kaddish” means “holy” and the prayer is a doxology - a listing of God’s holy attributes. Nor is there anything about life after death in these brief lines, which seem to echo with loss and longing.įor most Jews, the literal meaning of Kaddish is either opaque or troubling. ![]() It does not speak of loss, sadness, or bereavement. It sounds like comfort and feels like a transcendent embrace, and yet, the prayer that is synonymous with Jewish mourning does not mention death or consolation. My Jewish Learning is a not-for-profit and relies on your help Donate ![]()
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